Meeting People is [Unlikely]

Continuing on the freeform stream of thought from last time, I've decided to illustrate my overarching point about the decline of human relations and society in general by elaborating on a single topic: relationships.

Ask your average young, nondescript, non-Gino/black male today about meeting girls today and their personality shifts. They get a steely look in their eyes, hinting at past embarrassments and failed attempts. Their voice and temperament changes. The tonal impression of their words becomes steady, direct, hard. They begin to talk seriously, as if discussing how to kick a drug habit or a personal tragedy. And unless they have a girl at the time, they'll invariably express vehement disdain, personal anguish and outright disgust at the state of the relationship marketplace and even at women in general.

What is happening to the young people of today and why has it become so complicated, if you'll allow me to talk street for a moment, to get some pussy? Preemptively, I approach this touchy subject by eliminating my own personal experiences and beliefs from the discussion. Instead, I'll discuss the way others see the marketplace, or 'dating scene' if you prefer, as well as some current phenomena that are taking place amongst my generation.

The way things work nowadays is like this: if your average guy wants to get laid, he grabs his buddies and heads out to the local watering hole or nightclub, stands around for a while getting drunk, spots an attractive girl who doesn't seem to be fat or out of his league, builds up the courage to talk to her, and then makes the approach.

After that, all bets are off. It's up to the guy's delivery, the girl's mood and the mutual level of intoxication and "vibe" to determine what happens next. Possibilities are numerous. She could smile at some of his jokes and stories, they'll dance for a while, engage in some playful touching, share a kiss, exchange numbers and begin a long-lasting and fulfilling relationship.

Or they could really hit it off. It just could so happen that both could be mutually interested and willing that night. The attractive girl sees our average guy as exactly her type. She returns his attention with long gazes, tossing of her hair, suggestive humour and well-timed laughter. Then he leads her to the dancefloor where the right song comes on, preferably one with a strong, pulsing bassline. They establish an immediate physical chemistry, both enjoying one another's natural rhythms and pheromones. The dance is cut short. She takes him to a secluded corner and they further their physical relationship. It's been no more than half an hour since first meeting, the girl can't even remember what this dude who's got his hands in her jeans' name is. Alas, this makeout session is also cut short and the delirious couple fumbles their way into a taxi and back to his place to consummate their primal, surging desires.

But fuck all that. That shit doesn't happen, and you and I know it.

The way things happen in those dens of mookism and sleaze referred to as clubs is that our average guy waits in line for 15 minutes, pays 10$ for cover then proceeds to get bad looks from everyone: the bouncers, the coat check people, the guys who actually like to hang out there, looking like they were born and bred in cheap Parasuco distressed denim and Gucci sunglasses. He drops anywhere between 20-500$ on alcohol he could've bought from the SAQ for a 1/10th of the price. He endures listening to music that is mainly marketed to crunked-out Southern black men who drive trucks with 22inch rims and pre-pubescent 12-year olds who trick themselves into thinking they are hot, horny and ready for "it," even though if they ever saw a real cock, they'd probably be so traumatized they'd never look at their dad the same way again.

Half the time, the guy has to go smoke a cigarette on the overcrowded and freezing terrace, dodging people spilling beer all over the place and giant 7 foot tall white guys from Vermont who have trouble looking down because their neck is too thick. After about three hours of standing around, wobbling awkwardly to songs that have z-e-r-o rhythm, enduring continuous bad looks and vainly yelling into girls' ears, he goes home.

Is this how it is? Is this how we're supposed to function? This is how average guys are supposed to find their girlfriends who will cook them brownies on a Sunday afternoon while wearing boyshorts and an apron and watch old Ninja Turtles cartoons with them?

Yes, society tells us. Yes, advertising tells us. Yes, Jay-Z and every rapper and R&B singer says. This is how it is and always was.

Can't get any? They say 'don't be a hater." "Get rich or die tryin.' " If you'd only drop a few thousand on Grey Goose bottle service, rented Cayenne SUVs, coke and Versace sunglasses, all those women will come dancing into your lap.

Oh, and while you're at it, why not a couple thousand more on surgery for a bigger dick?

No folks, sorry. Mankind hasn't spent 10000 years mating and procreating to get to this point. I refuse to believe that we have to buy into this fucked-up, hedonistic, self-destructive, misogynistic, over-priced game of dress-up and pretend-to-be-a-celebrity to find a girl.

What other options are young men left with these days? The Internet? What are we, 42 year-old virgins who wear Star Trek t-shirts, eat Doritos for breakfast and stay up till 4AM watching Family Matters reruns? No. The Internet scene is a joke, and shouldn't even be necessary for young males.

School? Where every girl is "too busy studying" or so tightly wound-up and sexless that if you took her to the beach, she'd melt like an icicle? No. Girls at school are incredibly gorgeous, well-dressed and a lot of them are even quite smart. Unfortunately, once you go down that road, you will inevitably run into what is the biggest obstacle to normal social courtship: the Game.

If you don't know about the Game, or how to play, you are and will remain a virgin. It's just that strict.

Basically, the Game is just a way of communicating that's designed to make hooking up as least embarrassing and nice as possible for the two people flirting with each other. It has no purpose in and of itself. For girls, it ensures that the socially inept, the empty nice-guys and the total freaks and zeros are filtered out. For guys, it helps to build dependence and submissiveness in your partner.

But what it really ends up doing is complicating things to a point that most normal guys (yes, most), the ones that girls always find themselves complaining about how they can't find any, are left totally clueless.

It doesn't matter if both of you listen to Nirvana and like watching Aladdin and Revenge of the Nerds or playing Mario Kart 64 on multiplayer in Extra mode. Inevitably, one of you will react to the other's direct and sincere attempt to communicate with tactics culled from the Game.

The reasonable guy thinks this how hooking up with a girl goes:

Guy: "Hey."
Girl: "Hey."
Guy: "You know, that outfit is pretty cute."
Girl: "Oh, this? Wow, thanks, that's really sweet of you."
Guy: "What are you doing tonight?"
Girl: "Umm, nothing really."
Guy: "You wanna come over to my place to bang?"

OKOK, maybe not "come over so we can bang." But you know what I mean, more like "Can I take you out for dinner or a coffee?"

And then she says "yeah, why not" and we're on our way.

Of course, that's never how it goes, because the Game demands that both parties disguise their overt feelings towards each other. Expressing this already apparent feeling that "oh wow, you actually LIKE A GIRL!?!??" is considered within the context of the Game 1. gay (as in weak) 2. sleazy 3. creepy 4. awkward 5. inherently loser-like and desperate.

Who thinks like this? No-one that I know really. It's the Game that made this rule. For what purpose? I don't know.

The direct result of this and other rules is that both sides, girls and guys, must begin their relationship on false or dishonest terms. And that's considering that both parties can survive this phase of the Game and begin the actual relationship. Of course, there are all too many relationships that already operate within the Game's rules and both sides just continue to lie and put on fake personalities and characters for each other. Heck, I know of some marriages that function like this.

But people, this is not how it's supposed to be. Evolution cannot function like this. Human beings weren't meant to hide their honest, biological emotions under blankets of fake smiles, expensive gifts and public displays of chauvinism and "attitude". The possibility of love only ends up being distorted, corrupted, obliterated before it can even begin to take root.

In the past, things were different. They were simpler, people were more honest with themselves, and with each other, and everyone was better off for it. Though certainly mating rituals and some form of the "Game" have always existed, my point is that things have gone too far and that the basic way of life and human interaction is being encroached upon and destroyed by evil forces. Things must change, and fast, or this ship is gonna sink.

And that's all I have to say about that.

=//Turnquest

p.s. - please go out with me.