simple answers to common dilemmas

simple answers to common dilemmas.

1. there's this girl i really like, but i don't know if she likes me...

a: ask her out. coffee always works.

2. i'm broke man, i've got credit card bills, student loan bills, rent bills, gas bills, food...

a: get a job. (and keep it).

3. i don't really have any friends...

a: talk to other people who look like they don't have friends either. or make friends with at least one person who has a lot of friends and pretend a lot.

4. i'm sooo damn horny, i'm going to explode.

a: jerk off. or hire an escort.

5. i wish i knew what to do with myself.

a: anything is better than nothing. or ask God.

6. i'm not sure where to go for my holidays...in fact, i'm not even sure if i should take time off or just work...

a: Iraq. or maybe Fiji.

7. i'm bored.

i'm not. va chier, stik personne laide.

8. my boyfriend and i wanna get married, but we want to make sure we're ready. we have a lot of fun and he's nice to me, he takes me out to fancy restaurants, buys me all sorts of nice gifts...we talk for hours on the phone and we always make each other laugh. but i'm not sure... i mean, is this guy really the right one for me?

a: no.

9. why not?

a: you wouldn't be asking me this question right now. instead, you'd be busy f*ckin'.

=//Turnquest